2 posts tagged “lists”

Ten things that I think are batshit crazy:

1. Ohio goes Democratic. Cincinnati keeps Jean Schmidt. Are you all retarded? I asked you a question, retard.

2. Rick Santorum brought his 20-week-old dead fetus home for his children to cuddle. This won him votes in Pennsylvania.

3. Today's headline from the Seattle Post Intelligencer: 'Rumsfeld Becomes Another Iraq War Victim'. I know, how about  'The Seattle Post Goes and Fucks Itself'.

4. James Dobson instructs fathers to let their sons see their 'big boy' penis is the shower, to show them who's boss. He no longer has time for his brother-in-christ Haggard, apparently due to his immoral sexual conduct.

5. Stephen Baldwin is reborn and calls himself a "Psycho for Christ". I expected more from him. Like a date rape trial or a hooker in the new patio concrete.

6. I am starting to think Scientology is normal.

7. Fish, and sometimes frogs, still rain down from the sky. It happened recently in India, and no one cares but me.

8. John Negroponte is the anti-christ, and no one seems to notice. Honduran death squads ring any bells??! Awww, forget it, just look at him. He's a giant skeleton head on some popsicle sticks.

9. We no longer have a TV, and I still managed to find out about Britney Spears' divorce. This makes me really really angry.

10.  Republicans repeatedly pull out their brilliant, top-secret psy-ops weapon, "Do you want the terrorists to win?", and people act like it's a NORMAL QUESTION.

Alright, lists are lame. And no lists are better than www.5ives.com. Ever.
But I was in a very listeney mood today at the office, so let's share. No, let's.

1. Kronos Quartet plays Philip Glass String Quartets.
This album's obsessively repetitive arpeggios are perfect for getting every last piece of schmatz out of my blasted open-keyed keyboard. every. last. bagel. crumb. Get me a toothbrush.

2. Texas Campfire Songs - Michelle Shocked.
Wasn't she cute when she was a lesbian? This album usually has to be shut down in 3 and a half minutes, due to my incessant headphone warbling. Laura the Explorer is not pleased.

3. Kernel - Seam
Why do I love these guys? Who knows. Who friggin knows.

4. Think Tank - Henry Rollins
The sound of this man's voice makes my ovaries do jazz hands. If you've never heard the story about Henry begging his throat doctor to slit the 'golden vocal chords of the anti-christ' Michael Bolton, well...you should go listen to it then.

5. Strange Geometry - The Clientele
I got all stubborn and stuff about never liking another Clientele album more than I liked Suburban Light. But this one's ok. I mean it's still them and everything, writing lovely songs, making you want to get all London-y...alright, it's just as good.

6. Oui - The Sea and Cake
Like doing it in Caramel Sutra ice cream. Joyfully. In Chicago.